1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
|
SIPB Social Principles
SIPB is an awesome place for interacting with computers, but there are
people here too! Sometimes though, the line between these gets blurred
in our heads, and we end up interacting with people like they are
machines, which results in a sour experience for all parties involved.
So, we've come up with a set of core principles that we feel is
important to keep in mind when interacting with our mortal
counterparts:
1) People don't remember what you tell them, they remember how you
make them feel.
2) Be sincere.
3) Don't be a jerk.
4) Keep (1) through (3) *especially* in mind when interacting online:
email, zephyr, etc. Computers have a knack for making human
interactions less than human.
Sounds simple, right? Unfortunately, it isn't. People aren't usually
purposefully being unfeeling, insincere, or a jerk, but it still
happens; c.f. computers vs. humans, we're not perfect. So, we've also
collected guidelines regarding common examples of where people forget
these principles and accidentally contribute to a junky social
environment. They're not comprehensive, but we think they catch the
most common pitfalls.
---Perfection is not required for participation---
We want people to participate in SIPB projects without feeling like
they're going to get flamed for not knowing very much. Obviously, this
means that you shouldn't be chastising prospectives for making
mistakes. Less obviously, you shouldn't be chastising people who
"should know better" in public either. Remember that prospectives are
listening (in the office, on zephyr, on email lists, etc.) and might
think that such criticism might be directed at them if they make an
error.
This doesn't mean you can't give people suggestions on how to do
better, but please don't do so in a way that suggests that they're bad
person for doing what they did, that they should have done better, or
that their contribution wasn't worth making.
---Be careful expressing surprise---
Expressing surprise can often make people feel pretty poorly. This is
particularly true when it is surprise that someone doesn't know
something or surprise about the way someone tried to do something,
regardless of whether it is genuine surprise or not. This applies to
both technical things ("What?! I can't believe you don't know what
Hesiod is!") and non-technical things ("You don't know who RMS is?!").
We want SIPB to be a place where people feel safe saying "I don't
know" or "I don't understand", because those are the first steps to
learning. We don't want an environment where people don't feel like a
"real" SIPB member/prospective because they don't know what wget(1) or
nc(1) are.
---Try not to over-correct people ("well-actually's")---
It's hard to resist the urge to demonstrate your knowledge about a
subject; SIPB is as much as place for teaching as it is a place for
learning. However, it can be really off-putting when that urge
manifests itself by someone over-correcting someone else, usually by
pointing out a subtle technicality. These are easy to spot because
they almost always start "Well, actually...". While "Well, actually"
may be appropriate when conveying a major correction or preventing
someone from making a dangerous mistake, you may wish to consider
finding a different way to say it.
---Back-seat driving is disruptive---
If you overhear people working through a problem, you avoid
intermittently lobbing advice across the room. This can lead to the
"too many cooks" problem, but more important, it can be rude and
disruptive to half-participate in a conversation. This isn't to say
you shouldn't help, offer advice, or join conversations. On the
contrary, we encourage all those things. Rather, it just means that
when you want to help out or work with others, you should fully engage
and not just butt in sporadically.
Somewhat relatedly, when one person is trying to explain a tool or
concept, keep in mind that they may have a plan for what order they're
going to introduce ideas in. It can be very disruptive to have
somebody interject with something you weren't planning to cover until
later, and need to rearrange your ordering.
---No subtle sexism, racism, etc.---
It should go without saying that sexism, racism, and other forms of
discrimination are not welcome at SIPB. Some things though may not be
overtly discriminatory at the surface but are still offensive in this
way. Be mindful of this, and avoid contributing things that you feel
have this property.
Unlike many of the situations described in our other guidelines, these
sorts of incidents may not take the form a comment directed at a
specific individual. In situations like this, anyone who observes the
behavior should feel empowered to talk to the people involved or bring
it to the attention of the EC.
If someone says a comment you made was sexist, racist, or otherwise
discriminatory, please do not enter into a protracted debate about it,
and never tell someone that their feelings are not valid. Instead,
apologize and move on. If, after reflecting on your comment, you still
genuinely do not see any bias in your comment, you can contact a
member of the EC to discuss the incident further.
---The most sincere apologies consist of "I'm sorry"---
An apology should be a sincere expression of sadness for the sadness
of others. If you apologize but then qualify your apology with
"...that", "...if", "...but", you'll likely make the recipient feel
like you're implying that they share some of the blame for the
incident; it won't feel like an apology to them.
Sometimes, people are tempted to say "I'm sorry, but" (etc.) because
they don't want to concede their point in a discussion. But this sort
of "I'm sorry" isn't really an apology, and is an insincere use of the
words. Being sorry that someone else feels bad doesn't mean that you
necessarily agree with them, it just means that you recognize that
they're upset and sincerely wish that weren't the case.
---"Captain! Lieutenant Foobar violated SIPB Directive 1337!"---
"Put that phaser back in its holster, Commander!" Our social
principles and clarifying guidelines are intended to be a set of
things we can mutually agree to strive to live by as a community. They
aren't intended to be a stick to beat people with. However, it's still
important that people be able to help improve the social environment
when they see something they think is destructive.
If you feel someone has contributed negatively to a SIPB social
environment (in the office, on a SIPB email list, on our zephyr
classes, etc.), we encourage you to reach out to the speaker and/or
the intended target privately and discuss your thoughts with them. It
is usually best not to do this publicly as that often triggers
defensive reflexes, involves even more people, and results in a heated
conversation that is both distracting and often more toxic than the
original comment.
Again, "People don't remember what you tell them, they remember how
you make them feel.". Although Lt. Foobar may have made you feel
sucky, you should still keep this principle in mind when addressing it
with them. A harsh, public call-out will likely make them feel like
you want to attack them, not that you want SIPB to be a better place.
Above all however, you should *always* feel welcome to approach the
Chair or the rest of the EC regarding *any* issue, social or
otherwise.
|
