vaapi: remove dependency on X11

There are at least 2 ways of using VAAPI without X11 (Wayland, DRM).
Remove the X11 requirement from the decoder part and the EGL interop.
This will be used by a following commit, which adds Wayland support.

The worst about this is the decoder part, which includes a bad hack for
using the decoder without any VO interop (also known as "vaapi-copy"
mode). Separate the X11 parts so that they're self-contained. For the
EGL interop code we do something similar (it's kept slightly simpler,
because it essentially only has to translate between our silly
MPGetNativeDisplay abstraction and the vaGetDisplay...() call).

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