SIPB Social Principles SIPB is an awesome place for interacting with computers, but there are people here too! Sometimes though, the line between these gets blurred in our heads, and we end up interacting with people like they are machines, which results in a sour experience for all parties involved. So, we've come up with a set of core principles that we feel is important to keep in mind when interacting with our mortal counterparts: 1) People don't remember what you tell them, they remember how you make them feel. 2) Be sincere. 3) Don't be a jerk. 4) Keep (1) through (3) *especially* in mind when interacting online: email, zephyr, etc. Computers have a knack for making human interactions less than human. Sounds simple, right? Unfortunately, it isn't. People aren't usually purposefully being unfeeling, insincere, or a jerk, but it still happens; c.f. computers vs. humans, we're not perfect. So, we've also collected guidelines regarding common examples of where people forget these principles and accidentally contribute to a junky social environment. They're not comprehensive, but we think they catch the most common pitfalls. ---Perfection is not required for participation--- We want people to participate in SIPB projects without feeling like they're going to get flamed for not knowing very much. Obviously, this means that you shouldn't be chastising prospectives for making mistakes. Less obviously, you shouldn't be chastising people who "should know better" in public either. Remember that prospectives are listening (in the office, on zephyr, on email lists, etc.) and might think that such criticism might be directed at them if they make an error. This doesn't mean you can't give people suggestions on how to do better, but please don't do so in a way that suggests that they're bad person for doing what they did, that they should have done better, or that their contribution wasn't worth making. ---Be careful expressing surprise--- Expressing surprise can often make people feel pretty poorly. This is particularly true when it is surprise that someone doesn't know something or surprise about the way someone tried to do something, regardless of whether it is genuine surprise or not. This applies to both technical things ("What?! I can't believe you don't know what Hesiod is!") and non-technical things ("You don't know who RMS is?!"). We want SIPB to be a place where people feel safe saying "I don't know" or "I don't understand", because those are the first steps to learning. We don't want an environment where people don't feel like a "real" SIPB member/prospective because they don't know what wget(1) or nc(1) are. ---Try not to over-correct people ("well-actually's")--- It's hard to resist the urge to demonstrate your knowledge about a subject; SIPB is as much as place for teaching as it is a place for learning. However, it can be really off-putting when that urge manifests itself by someone over-correcting someone else, usually by pointing out a subtle technicality. These are easy to spot because they almost always start "Well, actually...". While "Well, actually" may be appropriate when conveying a major correction or preventing someone from making a dangerous mistake, you may wish to consider finding a different way to say it. ---Back-seat driving is disruptive--- If you overhear people working through a problem, you avoid intermittently lobbing advice across the room. This can lead to the "too many cooks" problem, but more important, it can be rude and disruptive to half-participate in a conversation. This isn't to say you shouldn't help, offer advice, or join conversations. On the contrary, we encourage all those things. Rather, it just means that when you want to help out or work with others, you should fully engage and not just butt in sporadically. Somewhat relatedly, when one person is trying to explain a tool or concept, keep in mind that they may have a plan for what order they're going to introduce ideas in. It can be very disruptive to have somebody interject with something you weren't planning to cover until later, and need to rearrange your ordering. ---No subtle sexism, racism, etc.--- It should go without saying that sexism, racism, and other forms of discrimination are not welcome at SIPB. Some things though may not be overtly discriminatory at the surface but are still offensive in this way. Be mindful of this, and avoid contributing things that you feel have this property. Unlike many of the situations described in our other guidelines, these sorts of incidents may not take the form a comment directed at a specific individual. In situations like this, anyone who observes the behavior should feel empowered to talk to the people involved or bring it to the attention of the EC. If someone says a comment you made was sexist, racist, or otherwise discriminatory, please do not enter into a protracted debate about it, and never tell someone that their feelings are not valid. Instead, apologize and move on. If, after reflecting on your comment, you still genuinely do not see any bias in your comment, you can contact a member of the EC to discuss the incident further. ---The most sincere apologies consist of "I'm sorry"--- An apology should be a sincere expression of sadness for the sadness of others. If you apologize but then qualify your apology with "...that", "...if", "...but", you'll likely make the recipient feel like you're implying that they share some of the blame for the incident; it won't feel like an apology to them. Sometimes, people are tempted to say "I'm sorry, but" (etc.) because they don't want to concede their point in a discussion. But this sort of "I'm sorry" isn't really an apology, and is an insincere use of the words. Being sorry that someone else feels bad doesn't mean that you necessarily agree with them, it just means that you recognize that they're upset and sincerely wish that weren't the case. ---"Captain! Lieutenant Foobar violated SIPB Directive 1337!"--- "Put that phaser back in its holster, Commander!" Our social principles and clarifying guidelines are intended to be a set of things we can mutually agree to strive to live by as a community. They aren't intended to be a stick to beat people with. However, it's still important that people be able to help improve the social environment when they see something they think is destructive. If you feel someone has contributed negatively to a SIPB social environment (in the office, on a SIPB email list, on our zephyr classes, etc.), we encourage you to reach out to the speaker and/or the intended target privately and discuss your thoughts with them. It is usually best not to do this publicly as that often triggers defensive reflexes, involves even more people, and results in a heated conversation that is both distracting and often more toxic than the original comment. Again, "People don't remember what you tell them, they remember how you make them feel.". Although Lt. Foobar may have made you feel sucky, you should still keep this principle in mind when addressing it with them. A harsh, public call-out will likely make them feel like you want to attack them, not that you want SIPB to be a better place. Above all however, you should *always* feel welcome to approach the Chair or the rest of the EC regarding *any* issue, social or otherwise.