From f2ce515c19462c21bd2aaa80f684e4b8c7385db8 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jonathan Reed Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2014 01:24:42 -0500 Subject: Wordsmith "feigning surprise" section Incorporate suggestions from jhawk to clarify that we're talking about deliberate overreactions, and not genuine surprise, but the latter can still make people feel bad --- code-of-conduct.txt | 33 ++++++++++++++++++--------------- 1 file changed, 18 insertions(+), 15 deletions(-) diff --git a/code-of-conduct.txt b/code-of-conduct.txt index 12192bd..6d0e877 100644 --- a/code-of-conduct.txt +++ b/code-of-conduct.txt @@ -27,21 +27,24 @@ that their contribution wasn't worth making. No feigning surprise -The first rule means you shouldn't act surprised when people say they -don't know something. This applies to both technical things ("What?! I -can't believe you don't know what Hesiod is!") and non-technical -things ("You don't know who RMS is?!"). Feigning surprise has -absolutely no social or educational benefit: When people feign -surprise, it's usually to make them feel better about themselves and -others feel worse. And even when that's not the intention, it's almost -always the effect. As you've probably already guessed, this rule is -tightly coupled to our belief in the importance of people feeling -comfortable saying "I don't know" and "I don't understand." - -It may be best to avoid acting surprised even when you actually -are. Regardless of whether you're actually surprised somebody hasn't -been to Mary's or just pretending, it can be offputting and make the -listener feel stupid or not like a "real" SIPB member/prospective. +This first principle is aimed at discouraging the practice of acting +overly surprised when some says they don't know something. This +applies to both technical things ("What?! I can't believe you don't +know what Hesiod is!") and non-technical things ("You don't know who +RMS is?!"). That's not to say you may not be genuinely surprised when +someone doesn't know something that you have taken for granted. But +consider whether the person, who has already admitted to not knowing +something, wants to be further reminded of it by your reaction. + +Feigning surprise has absolutely no social or educational benefit: +When people feign surprise, it's usually to make them feel better +about themselves or demonstrate their vast array of knowledge at the +expense of others' emotions. Even when that's not the intention, it's +almost always the effect. We want SIPB to be a place where people +feel safe saying "I don't know" or "I don't understand", because those +are the first steps to learning. We don't want an environment where +people don't feel like a "real" SIPB member/prospective because they +don't know what wget(1) or nc(1) are. No well-actually's -- cgit v1.2.3