Wordsmith apology section

Suggestions from dove

1 files changed, 6 insertions, 10 deletions

diff --git a/code-of-conduct.txt b/code-of-conduct.txt
index dc50f64..182fec1 100644
--- a/code-of-conduct.txt
+++ b/code-of-conduct.txt
@@ -113,22 +113,18 @@ member of the EC to discuss the incident further.
 
 The most sincere apologies consist of "I'm sorry"
 
-An apology should be a sincere expression of sadness for the sadness of
-others.  If you violate one of the principles in this document, but then
-qualify your apology with "...that", "...if", "..but", you're implying
-that the other person shares some of the blame for the incident.  Since
-they're the one who's upset, that's not true.  You may not have intended
-to make them feel bad, but you did, and saying "I'm sorry" shows that
-you regret that they feel bad (which, hopefully, you do.)
+An apology should be a sincere expression of sadness for the sadness
+of others. If you apologize but then qualify your apology with
+"...that", "...if", "...but", you'll likely make the recipient feel
+like you're implying that they share some of the blame for the
+incident; it won't feel like an apology to them.
 
 Sometimes, people are tempted to say "I'm sorry, but" (etc.) because
 they don't want to concede their point in a discussion.  But this sort
 of "I'm sorry" isn't really an apology, and is an insincere use of the
 words.  Being sorry that someone else feels bad doesn't mean that you
 necessarily agree with them, it just means that you recognize that
-they're upset and wish that weren't the case.  This is an opportunity
-to think about how to better word your point in order to avoid
-upsetting others in the future.
+they're upset and sincerely wish that weren't the case.
 
 Why have these principles?